Anonymous asked: ugh. you're beautiful.

daw (: thanks 

Anonymous asked: so i have always wondered if youve ever cheated on marc. even if you have i know you will deny it, but you should tell the truth if you have. its the right thing to do and out of respect you shouldnt hide it.

I think it’s hard for some people to believe that sometimes, people don’t cheat on each other. Sometimes having one person who loves and charishes you is all you could want and more, to the point where being with anyone else, or even contemplating it is not favorable in your eyes. Marc is the love of my life, I would not jeopordize that, even for a second. 

Anonymous asked: out of all the prom pictures I've seen you definitely were one of the prettiest people there, beautiful dress too.

Thank you! Aww, this made me smile 

Anonymous asked: My thoughts are with you and marc, stay strong beautiful<3

aww, thank you whoever this is<3 

I’m not trying to write this post to complain about my life, or for sympathy, or anything like that, I guess I just need a place to put my thoughts, and to somehow show my feelings which I cannot seem to help but bottle up in person and keep inside. 

A few months ago, Marc sat me down and told me he had to talk to me about something important. Being a typical girl, I figured he was mad at me or that something had gone wrong. I had no idea that he would proceed to say, “Shannen, I’m thinking of joining the army national guard.” At first I was shocked, and I didn’t really know what to say. I did not know much about national guard, I just heard the word army and it scared me a little. It took time, and we sat there for a few hours as he explained to me what it was, why he wanted to do it, and why it was a very good choice. He told me that the army would pay for his college education, which was amazing, and that he would only have to go to drill training for it one weekend a month. As he told me this, I started to have more of an open mind, and realized that maybe this was a really smart choice for him. Then, he told me that the hardest part would be leaving for training, which he would go to over the summer and would last around four or five months, two months for basic training and the others for his specialized training. He also told me that for the first two months of basic training, we would not be able to communicate at all, except through letters. Not gonna lie, it did sadden me a little, I didn’t like the thought of him leaving for that long. But I knew it was his life, and that he was making a really good, responsible choice. Marc told me he would most likely be leaving sometime in June. We wouldn’t get to have a summer together, which we were really looking forward to after a year of him in college and me in highschool. The months went on, and we talked about it, came to terms with what would happen, and we obviously planned on staying together.

Some time went on, and he was told that for IT training, which was his specialized training after basic training for computers, he would have to leave may 15th. He also told me that instead of four or five months, he would be gone for seven. May 15th, that date scared me so much, it was only a few days after prom, and was before I even got out of school, we would not have any summer together at all. I had to keep thinking about him though, and not be selfish. I never wanted to be one of those girlfriends who made her boyfriend feel bad for leaving. And I had to recognize that no matter how much I would miss him, it would be so much harder for him. Far away from home in Oklahoma, with no friends or family or music or good food or anything. Time moved so fast, we had a month left, then pretty soon a week. He got out of school and we spent everyday together as the days went by all too fast. We told each other everything, our fears, our dreams, our secrets. I told him I was scared of him not coming back the same, he told me he was scared of me becoming tired of waiting, and finding someone else. After reassuring each other that everything would be okay, that we would write each other everyday and that after it was over, the reward would be so great, all we wanted to do was just be together, and never leave. When one of us felt weak, the other would give strength, and vise versa. This morning, may 15th, before he left, I wokeup early and drove to his house to say goodbye. We just laid there in bed cuddling for a few hours, until it was time for me to go. I’ll never forget my alarm clock going off, I got this sinking feeling in my stomach just knowing that this was it. We sat there and talked for a little and sadness was so apparent on our faces. We told each other how much we loved each other, and how much we would miss each other. I told him I would stay busy, and he would be busy too, so we wouldn’t think about being sad too much, and he told me that seven months wasn’t that long, it would go by fast. We tried making each other feel better and it worked until he hugged me. He was hugging me goodbye, and I realized that this would be the last time I would hug him, the last time I would cuddle him, kiss him or even be in his presence  for seven months. When I left I tried not to turn around and look at him cause I knew how much it would hurt, I wanted to be strong for him, to show him that I supported him and make him feel good about going. I was a mess inside though. On the way to school I just broke down and started crying hysterically. I didn’t know how I was going to do this, I couldn’t be without him. Marc was my strength, my best friend, the one person that I could call when I was having a bad day and was stressed out and could make me feel better and peaceful. How can you go from talking to someone everyday for a year and four months, giving everything to them and sharing so many memories and love, then just stop? I didn’t understand it. I felt foolish for having a break down, but later he told me he did the same thing after I left. We both were trying to be strong for each other, which made me feel better. 

And now I am just sitting here, not knowing how to feel: Sad because the boy that I am in love with just left for so long, or happy that I have met such an amazing, genuine person who has made such an impact on my life that I am willing to stay with him through anything. I’m so lucky to have met Marc, he has taught me so much about myself, and how to love and treat people. I will miss him like crazy, and I am going to be sad about it, not because I feel bad for myself because I am so lucky to have what I have, but because a big part of myself is missing, and my heart hurts without it. 

So good luck to you, Marc Dunkerley. I will write you letters everyday and pray for you every night. You are my best friend, and I am honestly so proud of you. Thanks for everything you have done to me, I’ll be right here  waiting for you, and when we are reunited in seven months, I am going to run into your arms and never let you go, I promise. I know I’m going to end up with you, we’re meant for each other. 

Anonymous asked: so much support for you and marc

thankyou, that really means so much<33